Dumpster Fire DEVO - Day 10

Day 10: Boundaries that Transform Relationships
By Pastor Casey Taylor

Read Matthew 5:9 

The story of Ahab, Jezebel, and Naboth shows us the destructive power of crossing boundaries. But the good news is that boundaries can also transform relationships for the better.

Not only can boundaries deescalate dumpster fires but they can also be transformative. You might think that boundaries cut us off from each other. You might even think this focus on boundaries contradicts our previous focus on connection! Sometimes boundaries do form a semi-permanent separation between people. This happens when one or both people aren’t mature enough for a healthy relationship. But boundaries are actually meant to help us be together with more integrity and authenticity.

If you want to change a relationship, or relationships in a group, for the better, boundaries is the way. Boundaries curb the chaos inside us and around us. In his classic leadership book, Failure of Nerve, Rabbi Edwin Friedman said, “If you want your child, spouse, client, or boss to shape up, stay connected while changing yourself rather than trying to fix them.” We can’t fix everyone and we can’t put out every dumpster fire, but because we follow Jesus Christ, we are called to be agents of change in our families, our churches, our communities, our neighborhoods, our schools, and our workplaces.

REFLECT: When do you fear saying “No” or get frustrated by someone else’s “No?” Turn your answer into your next step: what “no” do you need to say or respect this week?

PRAY: Lord, guide me in setting boundaries that bring health and transformation to my relationships. Help me to love others well by honoring Your truth. Amen.